Love Is A Decision

I was in a bookstore a long time ago and saw a book entitled Love Is A Decision by Gary Smalley. Admittedly, I did not buy the book and I have not even checked it out from the library but I have thought long and hard about the title. Tonight, as I reflect on the sermon I heard in church this evening, I am yet again thinking about this book and the truth behind the title.

Just to give you a quick rundown of the sermon, the minister was answering questions members had submitted to the church about the family. He spoke about the church's stance on divorce and its policy on divorced people remarrying. He spoke about raising children to be Godly adults. Finally, he spoke about rekindling the love in a marriage when the spark has dwindled. He said something that really stuck out in my mind. He said that God meant marriage to be "one man, one woman, one time."

That is a far cry from the way society and, even many mainstream Christians, feel about marriage. Divorce is accepted as a natural conclusion what was once sworn to be a "till death do us part" relationship. But then I look at people like my grandparents. July 1st of this year they celebrated their 63rd wedding anniversary. Their marriage has been through a lot of bad times, ones that people from newer generations would have called it quits over, but they stayed committed to their marriage covenant and to each other. When there appeared to be no love there, they decided to continue loving each other. They knew that "love is a decision."

If you're a regular reader or one who has come looking for writings about disability rights/education, you're probably wondering why I'm talking about love. It's simple, people who are disabled need love too. The problem is that too many of us have closed ourselves off from others and do not allow ourselves to feel love for others or to be loved by others. We do this because of fear of rejection or because we are just downright positive that nobody could love us the way we are. Perhaps we think we are ugly ducklings or we that it would look like Beauty and the Beast if we ever went on a date. I can tell you from experience, until you allow yourself to receive love and feel love for others, you are missing about 99.95% of what life is about. The Scripture teaches that you could be the smartest, most good looking, richest person in the world but if you don't have love you have nothing at all.

Jesus stated that "Greater love hath no man than that he lay down his life for a friend." Then He did exactly that. He showed how great His love is for all of us by laying down His life for each and every person in the world. It wasn't until I allowed this love to invade my heart and soul that I was truly able to love others and to trust in the love of my wife and my friends/family. Since that time, the walls have been coming down and I've been changing from the inside out. I truly believe that such a change can happen in anyone's life if they just let the Love of Christ overwhelm them. If you haven't done that yet, then please made a decision to receive Christ's Love and His Grace today.

In His Love,
James Hart

Hard Words To Hear

In my last post, I practically preached nondisabled Christians who mistreat disabled persons into Hell. Since that night, I have struggled to write the piece that must follow that post. I was bold when I preached judgement onto nondisabled Christians because I could separate myself from them but in tonight's writing I must discuss the fact that disabled Christians who do something about the inaccessible worship centers, inaccessible church programs/activities, prejudice and mistreatment of other people with disabilities, etc. . . will be judged if they do nothing--and I cannot separate myself from those who I am saying will be judged.

Tonight's post will be in three sections. In the first part I will discuss what I mean by those who can but do not do something. In the second part I will discuss why it is so important for Christians with disabilities to be involved in changing the church. In the third section I will offer examples of things that you might be able to do. Note that I will leave out the biblical basis for the judgement of people who do not help others who are in need because you can get that by reading my last post.

First, who am I talking about? What do I mean by disabled Christians who can do something about the problem but do nothing? I mean exactly that. Every person with a disability has different abilities and different disabilities. Some are like me and cannot participate in fund raiser walks or manual labor like building accessible buildings but I have a very loud mouth and I'm not afraid to use it to let people know what needs to be done. Others cannot talk at all but know how to build ramps that are even better than the building codes require or they know how to raise money to make a church building accessible to people who are disabled. Obviously these are just two examples but the fact is that all but the most severely disabled individuals can do something about the problem of churches not meeting the needs of people with disabilities.

Second, why is it so important for Christians with Disabilities to be involved in making the church more disability friendly? Because if it doesn't matter to us enough to be involved, why should the non-disabled folk be involved? One of the slogans I've seen batted around the internet is "Nothing About Us Without Us." Why should this be any different? Plus, we are the ones who know first hand where and what the needs are. We can't expect non-disabled people, who have no prior experience working with people who have disabilities, to know what needs to be changed.

Let me give you an example. After completing my studies at a 2 year Baptist college, I was considering several other 4 year Baptist schools. I visited the one that my sister had graduated from. I was informed that they had just recently made the cafeteria wheelchair accessible by building a sidewalk around the back of the building and down the hill to the back door. Sure enough they had built this sidewalk, but they left a several inch step-up between the top of the sidewalk and the floor of the cafeteria. I quickly informed them that it was not wheelchair accessible and advised them of several other accessibility problems I had discovered on campus. Then I chose to transfer to a state school.

So what should you do or what are some examples of things you can do? Let's answer the first question first. As I stated in my last post, every Christian is called to meet people's needs (See Matthew 25:30-46). So that is what you are suppossed to do. How you do it is a different story. If you are involved in other ministries, please do not sacrafice the time you have committed to those ministries so you can learn to be a disability advocate. However, as you are in church or in your community, when you see something, don't just ignore it, do something about it. Since my Junior year of college when I became involved in disability advocacy, I've been involved in everything from getting elevators and electric doors installed in buildings to mediating misunderstandings between a person with a disability and a non-disabled authority figure.

No problem is too small to do something about, neither is a problem too big to tackle. The difference is the amount of manpower and money that it takes to take care of the issue. Once a building had double doors and they kept one door locked making it impossible to get a wheelchair through the one open door. That was easily corrected by alerting the appropriate person who then opened other door. Another time my college administration wanted to fill in the pool (which was the only wheelchair accessible recreational facility on campus) in order to build a new weight room for the atheletes. With the help of several friends, I got a lot of signatures on a petition, I got coverage in the school newspaper, I found documents that suppossedly didn't exist, and we kept the pool and won several other concessions from the administration.

I suppose I should end with a basic instruction set on how to do disability advocacy for readers who have never done it before. The biggie that isn't even in my numbered steps because it overshadows them all, PRAY. Anytime you are involved in trying to resolve issues, especially within the church, you need to make sure your efforts are prayer covered. Now for the steps. First, you must notice there is a problem. Second, evaluate the problem to decide how big it is and how much help, if any, you need to resolve the problem. Third, if you don't need help, fix it. If you need help, try to find a couple of people you can trust and go to them with your concerns. They may be able to guide you to the right person to talk to so that the issue can be resolved quickly. Fourth, until the problem is corrected, keep talking to people about your concerns so that the issue doesn't fall off the table without being resolved.

Here are a couple tips to help you.

1. Do your research so you know what your rights and are and are not. Also you need to know what the responsibilities of the organization you are trying to make a change in are or are not under the law. Remember that churches and church related organizations are often subject to different regulations than non-religious organizations.

2. Don't be afraid to use pressue from outside sources to force a resolution to the problem (this could be media, petitions, government, etc. . .) but do so with caution and only after all other means are exhausted. Remember, you represent Christ and Christ did not force people to do his bidding. Be nice until you simply can't be nice anymore then bite them in the hind end.

Just to sum up, as disabled Christians, we will be judged by God if we sit back and do not work to rectify problems we see within our own churches and communities. We are all called to do our part to meet the needs of others whether they have disabilities or not.

They Will Be Held Accountable

To both my returning readers and my new readers,

This post is one I have already been working on for about 2 hours and I am starting over to tone it down a bit and cut down on the length. When I read the still incomplete first draft, I felt like I was preaching hellfire and damnation down on the Christian Churches that discriminate against my brothers and sisters with disabilities or mistreat us. There's still going to be a little bit of that in this post but I want to try not to be quite as blunt. So how's this for starters?

Matthew 25, Verses 31-40 tell the story of the Return of Christ and how He says to His children that they fed Him when He was hungry and clothed Him when He was naked, etc. . . Verse 40 is the feel good verse of the chapter, I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me" (NIV). Verses 41-46, however. tell a very different story with a dramatic ending. Starting in Verse 41 it says, "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink. I was a stranger and you did not invite me in. I needed clothes and you did not clothe me. I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' They will also answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison and did not help you?' He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

What? "Whatever you did not do for the least of these you did not do for me"?!?! "Depart from me you who are cursed into the eternal fire"?!?! You mean the Christian churches that have built new buildings in the last 10 or 15 years and didn't include ramps or accessible seating, you mean the people that made those decisions are gonna be judged? And the people that neglected to fix the problems when they were made aware of them will also be judged? What about the church people who keep their distance from us because they can't think of the politically correct thing to say? I mean, there's nothing like a good "How are you differently-abled, electric chair using, developmentally disabled people today?" Are they gonna be judged too? Yes. Because they are suppossed to treat us just like everyone else and welcome us with open arms.

I'll even take it a step further because there's a group of people I think will be judged perhaps even worse than the rest. Luke 17:2 says, "It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones [those young in their faith] to sin" (NIV). Some translations say "stumble" instead of "sin." You mean all those so-called Christians who told us we weren't really Christians or didn't have enough faith because we didn't get healed, you mean they are gonna get judged for causing us to stumble? You betcha. They are going to be judged harshly for what they did to so many of us.

What can you as a reader take from this post? If you are a person with a disability, know that Jesus Christ values you as much as any other human being on the planet. Whether you are a Christian or not, whether you have been hurt by Christians or not, He wants to have a personal relationship with you. He wouldn't judge His own children for getting in the way of your having that relationship with Him if He did not value it.

On the other hand, if you are a Christian or especially if you are a leader in a Church and your church has not lived up to the standard set by Christ in Matthew 25 when it comes to People with Disabilities, it isn't too late. Our God is the God of second chances and third chances and fourth and fifth and seven hundredth chances. Build your ramps. Set aside places in the church for wheelchairs. Find out what the needs of disabled people in your congregation are or better yet, go out in the community and when you meet a person with a disability who isn't a church goer, ask if there are any accommodations the person needs if they were to come to your church. Meet the needs.

That's what church is about. That's what Christ is about. Meeting needs where they are. Definately meet them in your church but think outside the church. When I was in the nursing home for a year, there were three different churches who would come and do services during the week. Perhaps your church could do something like that. I realize that not every church can do everything but every church can do something. So, do something. Start doing what Christ said in the Matthew 25:31-40. Feed the Hungry. Clothe the Naked. Take care of the Sick. Visit the Prisoners. etc. . . Meet the needs. Lest you be judged. We must all meet needs where we find them. Lest we all be judged.

The 2nd best gift God has ever given me.

Dear Reader,

If you will indulge me, I will take a break tonight from the usual topics I write about and tell you about a gift that God has given me that I cherish with all my heart and soul and mind. In fact, this gift is the 2nd best gift He has ever given me--2nd only to the Cross of Calvary. What is this gift that I cherish so much? This gift is my wife, who I would die for if the need arose.

My wife is a very special, very beautiful woman. For a woman that previously had never been exposed to the world of hospital waiting rooms and all the accessories that come with a very ill person, she adapted rather quickly after we married. Before we got together, I had had about 20 surgeries. Now, as we approach our 6th wedding anniversary, I have had 48. She has watched me go through intense pain and life threatening infections. She's been there for me when I've had to have emergency operations to correct problems caused by previous operations. And she's sat by my bedside and watched me sleep just so that I would see a familiar face when I awoke.

My wife has also stood by me as I have struggled with mental illness. My mental illness has nearly claimed my life on numerous occasions and almost claimed my marriage last year. But my wife stood by me even when all her instincts were telling her to run away. Praise the Lord that I have now been properly diagnosed and treated with the right levels of the right medications since last Summer. I'm so thankful to the Lord that my wife stuck with me and loved me despite the fact that I was not very loveable for quite some time.

When I tell my wife how much I love her for sticking things out no matter how bad or scarey they might have gotten, she sometimes tells me that it wasn't her, that it was God giving her the strength to do it. And I believe her 100%. No human being could withstand all that this special lady has withstood, in 6 years of marriage, without receiving some supernatural assistance. But, as I told her, it is still her choice. That's what I love so much about my wife. When faced with the choice between giving up on me or sticking by me, she has consistently stuck by me. When faced with the choice of whether or not to give up on herself and say she's had enough of the heartache and pain, she has consistently chosen to continue the good fight.

As I said in my wedding vows, I will cherish her for all the days of my life. For she is truly the 2nd best gift that God has given to me.

Jesus, The King of Understanding. Part 2

I ended Part 1 by saying I was going to focus on what to do if anger or bitterness is keeping you from experiencing the peace and rest that Christ offers freely to every Christian. Let's hit that one head on.

What if you are angry at God because of something you or a friend/family member has been through? I'm there with you brother or sister. I've been angry at God so many times that I can't count them. In fact, I was once so bitter towards God for so long that I stopped going to church and hardly ever prayed for several years. That was the wrong thing to do. But I will tell you something that I have known even before that several year stint. God knows when we're angry at Him. So tell Him for goodness sakes. Tell Him! Yell at Him if you have to! I dare say that if you feel you have to then cuss at Him! He knows what is in your mind so vocalize it. Seriously, say it outloud to God. Scream it if it helps. Let the tears flow. Don't hold anything back. When you're done, He will be standing right there with open arms ready to wrap them around you and give you a great big God hug and to point you in the right direction to continue rebuilding your relationship with Christ.

There's a couple of key things I want you to remember about having anger or bitterness towards God. First, It is O'k to be angry towards God. I repeat, it is O'k. Second, it is O'k to tell God that you're angry at Him. Third, it often helps to find one or two Christians you can trust and confide in them about your struggle with anger or bitterness towards God. Ask them to pray with you and for you as you work out your problems with God. It might sound funny to repeat that last phrase in your head "work out your problems with God" but that's what you are doing. Your relationship with God is not unlike your relationship with your spouse or your parents or friends in many respects. Sure, it is on a much higher level than human relationships but the relationship model is still the same. You have to communicate with God. You have to spend time with Him. You do things that you think will please God. And finally, when your relationship gets out of snyc with God for whatever reason, you have to work your problems out with Him.

Finally, it is o'k to question God. I use Jesus as my role model for questioning God. He questioned the Father twice under two different circumstances. First, He asked the Father if there was anyway to avoid the crucifiction that would still be within the Father's will. Second on the Cross, He asked "My God, My God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?" One was "take this burden from me but not my will but yours be done" and the other was "why have you abandoned me, I'm in so much pain and feel so burdened." Both were the cries of an anguished God/man and both can be used as models in our lives. If we want to ask God to remove some burden from our lives, we must always remember that God's will has to be given priority. He may have a reason that burden is in our life and, instead of removing the burden, He may give you more strength to handle it or something like that. Secondly, when we feel abandoned by God and everyone else, we must remember that He is the same Yesterday, Today, and Forever and that He will never leave us nor Forsake Us. He is there. We just have to reach out to Him and let Him into our cluttered lives.

I hope this two parter has blessed at least one reader. Feel free to post comments. May God bless everyone who takes the time to read my blog.

In Christ,
James Hart

Jesus, the King of Understanding, Part 1

The Bible gives many names for each member of the Trinity: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. It says that Christ is the Prince of Peace, the Wonderful Counselor, our Rock, our Fortress in times of distress. Last year I was reading Next Door Savior by Max Lucado and I came up with another name for Christ. I learned to call Jesus the "King of Understanding" because He does understand everything any one of us has ever been through or experienced. Do you doubt that? Then please bear with me for a moment so I can share with you what I learned about my King of Understanding.

In Chapter 2 of Max Lucado's book, he writes about "Christ's Theme Song." Lucado talks about how we may have people in our families who have shamed us by committing crimes or some other immoral acts. Look at Jesus' family tree at the beginning of the Gospel of Matthew, yes, at the very start of the New Testament. Perhaps, growing up, you were treated as inferior to others because you were poor, not because of any meaningful criteria. Christ was a carpenter's son and grew up to be a carpenter himself. He was far from being rich. As a matter of fact, Max Lucado even writes that many scholars believe Jesus was raised by a single mother. The New Testament does not speak of Joseph being there during Jesus' adult life and we know little of Jesus' teenage years either. Max Lucado continues with examples of how Jesus's life parallels things that most of us have either experienced or will experience. After every example, he quotes the chorus to "Christ's Theme Song" which very simply is "I've been there."

Readers, Christ has been there through every event in human history and He knows our joys and sorrows, our pleasures and our pains. Yes, even you readers who either have disabilties or who have loved ones with disabilities, Christ has been there too. There is a passage of scripture that I never noticed until I read Max's book and I want to quote it here. Hebrews 2:17-18 in the Message says, "He had to enter into every detail of human life. Then, when he came before God as high priest to get rid of the people's sins, he would have already experienced it all himself--all the pain, all the testing==and would be able to help where help was needed." In other words, He knows and understands everything that we could possibly go through.

In Part 2, I'm going to post about how we can use this knowledge to get through our struggles and to grow in our relationship with God. Please read part 2 especially if you are harboring bitterness or anger towards God for whatever life has thrown your way. I will focus on this topic for most of part 2.

I Choose To Live, What Do These Words Mean To Me?

Eleven months ago I wrote something in my journal that changed my life and the way I live it. I was 30 years old and in the hospital awaiting my 44th operation, knowing that I would be in the hospital until I had my 45th and 46th surgeries as well. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and the one year anniversary of my mother's death was fast approaching. To put it bluntly, I wanted to die. I even prayed numerous times that God would take me Home during the first proceedure of that hospital stay. Quick and painless, that's the way to go.

But then I started writing. I wrote about the anger I had towards God for everything He had "put me through" during my life. I blamed Him for the abuse I suffered as a child, as well as the rest of the traumas I'd suffered in my lifetime. I blamed him for my mental illnesses that were, at that point in time, so severe. Shoot, I would have even blamed him for the pain in my big toe if I'd stubbed it. I felt like He had treated me like a walking mat or a guinea pig all my life, just to see how much I could take before I'd break. When I'd break, I could rest assured that someone would say He was there for me but very few of my "Christian brothers and sisters" were there for me. Mostly because they didn't know how to deal with someone as battered and broken as me.

As I ended one of these writings, I wrote the following, "I choose to live knowing that Heaven is only a knife or a bottle of pills away." When the doctors and nurses looked at this statement, they nearly flipped because they thought I was thinking about suicide. I was, however, focusing on the first four words. I CHOOSE TO LIVE. The rest of the sentence is simply an acknowledgement that I could end my life if I wanted to but instead of doing that, I choose to live.

The next day I started writing about what it means to choose to live. I cannot find my notebook but I believe I wrote something like this. I choose to live. These words empower me because I acknowledge for the first time that it is my choice to live every moment of every day with all my pain. I acknowledge that God is not forcing me to carry this burden but that He is trying to make the burden lighter for me. These words also empower me because they say I am the one who chooses how I will live my life. No longer am I a robot being controlled by others and by God but I am a human being who is making his own choices. It is my choice whether or not to live a life pleasing to God and to my wife.

Just a quick note, I'm not saying that bad choices do not have consequences, I'm only saying that those bad choices are still options that are on the table for every human being to make. We've all got good choices and bad choices and it's up to us to decide which one is best for ourselves, our families, our church or our community, etc. . .

By acknowledging that that I am the one making the choices in my life, I gave up all that anger towards God and my relationship with Him improved dramatically. My relationship with my wife has continued to improve on almost a daily basis since last Summer and my relationships with other people have grown as well. I am a much happier person than I was last year at this time and I am seeking to share this empowering message with other people who are suffering and blaming either God or others.

To that end, I have created a new Yahoo Group called Empowering People with Disabilities. The address is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EmpoweringChristiansWithDisabilities/ and everyone is welcome to come join in the discussion. We'll not only be discussing this type of empowerment but also empowerment in the form of disabilty activism in churches. I hope some of you readers will join the new group.

In HIM,
James Hart